I've moved...at least, in the internet sense

I've moved here: Orange & Black Baseball

I wanted to start fresh...which is, of course, why I gave the new blog exactly the same name as this one. Ahem.

In any case, it'll be the same general idea -- mediocre baseball analysis mixed-in with corny jokes and gratuitous use of ellipses.

...ellipses are...very...very...cool.

Two things that NEVER should be combined

42-year old Greg Maddux.

Padres alternate home jersey...camo gold, for lack of a better description.

Egads.

Is this thing on?

I hardly even know what to write, only that I felt the need to write...something...in this space, since nothing had been written here in over a year now.

There's going to be naught but crickets to greet these words, I'm sure (and inattentive crickets at that...they always give me the cold shoulder, the bastards), but one doesn't jump on a bike pedaling madly after not riding one in a long time, does one? Well, at least not if one doesn't desire finding oneself sailing over the handlbars face first.

Not that that's ever happened to me, but I'm just saying.

I'm still watching the Giants, but with only one eye -- you know, in case I'm accidentally blinded by the absolute lack of offense, I'd still be able to sport an eye patch and make friends with parrots. And grog...I'd be able to drink grog.

Sometimes I think the Giants are wearing eyepatches and drunk off of grog when they are in the batter's box.

Well, check that. If anyone's drunk, it is I. Not only am I still a loyal Giants fan, but I still have my sadistic fascination with the Royals, too (that particular disease is about to hit the 30 year mark). I am eagerly awaiting football season, because that will mean I can let the 49ers struggles override the Giants and Royals struggles...at which point I'll be eagerly awaiting basketball season, so I can let the Warriors...well, you get the idea.

The Bay Area is not a place to plant postseason seeds in hopes they will grow to bear championship fruit. You'd think between the Sharks, Giants, A's, Warriors, 49ers and Raiders it wouldn't take 14+ years to bring some kind of title here, would it?

1994 49ers? I mean, I'm shooting in the dark with a blindfold on, but isn't that the last Bay Area professional franchise to win a title? And yes, I'm excluding the Sabercats. On purpose. While arena football is indeed a professional sport, whenever there's a league that plays a similar sport that everyone in your league would run naked through a swarm of bees to play in, it's a bit hard to give San Jose's Arenabowl titles enough legitimacy to make a difference.

Besides, I don't exactly see San Jose in the running for Titletown, U.S.A., either.

Rant and ramble officially over. The crickets, I'm sure, would normally hold their breath until my next entry, but they saw a moldy chunk of bread and had to go. Shame 'bout that.

It seemed like the perfect time to say...

...boy, I'm so glad the Giants traded Jeremy Accardo for Shea Hillenbrand. That move worked out oh, so well for the Giants.

Good job, Brian Sabean. Sticking with Armando Benitez was indeed the correct move, as we all know traded youth for veteran know-how and savvy works each and every time.

With that, I'll balance things out a bit -- I must admit that overall Randy Winn has done more than I thought him capable of. I was fairly sure his run at the end of 2005 was an absolute flash-in-the-pan, albeit one I thoroughly enjoyed watching. His 2006 wasn't very good, and although his overall numbers were below his career averages, they certainly seemed more indicative of the type of player Winn is than the gaudy 1.071 OPS he ran up in the 58 games he played in 2005, but...

He seems to have found a comfortable middle ground this season -- he's competent offensively, and although I still cringe at the lack of walks, I have confidence that he is a legitimate threat when he comes to bat. That's more than I thought the Giants would get when they picked him up.

Ah, memories...

Last night made it a lot easier to not hate Ryan Klesko.

It's a sports hate, mind you, not real life hate like I have for the Dodgers, the Dallas Cowboys, and wasps (the honey bee is fine, and serves a purpose, but what do wasps do other than scare the living crap out of most of us?). I've heard good things from a couple of reliable sources telling me Klesko is a very nice guy -- he just had a bad beginning with me, with with long tenures on two teams I don't like (Braves, Padres), and testosterone leaking from his pores every time he strikes out.

However, he's a Giant, so I've made an attempt to at least meander down the path to indifference. It's been difficult to this point, since he's been doing a convincing job at showing he's not worth any more than Mark Sweeney, yet getting paid another 800k.

But while last night's home run was pretty much useless (other than making sure there was no save opportunity for 'Mando...yay) as Noah Lowry shut down the Astros mostly by himself, it was symbolic that Klesko can still hit one.

Well, check that, symbolic he can still hit them in a live game -- he apparently hits a bunch of home runs in batting practice.

But what about Lowry? What's the differences between this year and last year? Not much, in a sense -- his k's per 9 innings is much the same (4.75 in 2006 vs. 4.92 this season), and his k/bb ratio is actually much worse (1.5 last year, 1.18 this year).

But, the differences? Huge -- he's all of a sudden become an extreme ground ball pitcher as opposed to a somewhat flyball pitcher. He's running an almost 2-to-1 ground ball to fly ball ratio this year (1.80 g/f), whereas three of his first four seasons saw him allow more fly balls than ground balls.

What's all that really mean? Well, part of my worry about Lowry last season was his large dropoff in his strikeouts. There's nothing wrong with being a flyball pitcher, but it's difficult to be successful over a long period of time allowing more flyballs while not striking out a lot of hitters, because nowadays that tends to mean you're going to allow more extra-base hits overall -- and last season Lowry allowed his highest SLG % (.452) in his career by quite a bit.

So...this season, a lot more groundballs than flyballs, an absolutely huge drop in SLG % against (.305...are you kidding?), and double plays are getting turned behind Lowry at almost twice the rate of 2006 (10 this year so far in 60 innings pitched...he had only 14 last year in 159 innings pitched last year).

Hey, it's working.

You reap what you...were supposed to have reaped at first, only didn't...until later...whatever

Okay, now this is a bit more balanced. Unfortunate and sad, but the Law of Averages is sitting there with a smirk on his mug.

Eight game winning streak complete with great pitching, little offense, and a lot of one and two-run victories. Two-game losing streak, complete with little offense, and two one-run losses.

Live by the narrow victory, die by the narrow defeat.

Not to beat a dead horse, but at least the horse can't fight back. It's almost like the horse is tempting me to get a few licks in while I can.

These last two losses to the Diamondbacks are basically the same games that the Giants had on their eight-game winning streak, the only difference being the armor of the pitching staff cracked slightly -- and the offense, meanwhile, keeps putting out it's same meager output of 2-5 runs each game.

Okay, enough doom and gloom, I'm sure you get my point (er, in case you don't, the point is...do something to help the offense sooner rather than later).

The interesting thing about the two losses is that the Giants had plenty of power -- four home runs hit between the two games -- but three of the four were solo shots by Mark Sweeney, Randy Winn, and Pedro Feliz, while the other one was only one run better, the two-run shot hit by Barry Bonds on Saturday. The moral to the story is...

...that the Giants are poor in two of the worst categories to be poor in when paired together: walks and home runs. They've been bad in both all season up until the last two games, where a bit of a power surge with the four home runs brought the Giants out from the cellar area in the NL in team home runs.

Only problem was, the Giants 2nd to last position in OBP has held strong, so four home runs in two games netted the team only five runs...and when both of those games are lost by one run, you can see how and why it's bad that the Giants are poor in those particular team statistics.

The pitching staff seems to be as advertised, at least, although I have my doubts about Runs Ortiz holding up over the course of the season. As a 5th starter, he technically just has to keep his team in the game in most of his starts and he's done his job. We'll see, but in the meantime it is of some comfort to know that there's a good chance the Giants will have a chance to win most of the games they play.

Hey, whaddya know? Ended things with a positive comment!

Daniel, meet Crow. Crow, Daniel.

I hear Crow tastes ever so slightly better when it's lightly fried in olive oil with some garlic, green onions and mushrooms.

Ah, nevermind -- Crow tastes like chicken anyway.

After reeling off seven straight wins and vaulting themselves right back into the NL West chase on the strength of Barry Bonds Bombs and some superb starting pitching, it's pretty easy to just slap the fat and ride the wave in...

...hm, let me opt for a more PC analogy.

It's easy to get caught up in the wins, and easy to think that the starters are indeed this good and Bonds can indeed keep this pace up to an NL West title after that many wins in a row. But more the fools us, if we believe it will keep up like this.

Not that the Giants can't make a run at the title -- when a team wins seven in a row with pitching like this, they're capable of making a run here and there, and I'm still not convinced there is a good team in the NL West. But the offense is still a problem, a problem that, for now, Barry is hiding behind his bat.

The Giants have outscored their opponents during this run 30-17, which calculates out to 4.3-2.4 in terms of runs scored/game vs. runs against/game.

The cold, hard truths are these -- no team in this era will win with any consistency at 4.3 runs per game. Period. And no team in this era will go through a season allowing anywhere near as low as 2.4 runs per game.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays scored the fewest runs in all of baseball last year at a 4.25 runs/game clip, and had MLB's worst record. The Padres had the worst runs per game average of any winning team last season at 4.5/game. The Astros also had a winning record with a 4.53/game average...but they were all of two games over .500.

Let's look at the Padres pitching -- at only 4.2 runs per game allowed, they were by far the least amount of runs allowed per game, the next closest being the Astros at 4.44/game.

Can we just agree that the Padres are an anomaly mostly because of their ballpark?

Meanwhile, the Giants last year scored 'em at 4.6/game, and allowed them at 4.87/game. This year overall that ratio is 3.63/3.58.

Does that make any sense, really? That the Giants can do better than last season while taking a one run per game hit from their offense because, coincidentally, their pitching staff happens to allow 1.3 less runs per game? A pitching staff that, I'll remind you, has added Barry Zito and Russ Ortiz, and that's pretty much it.

Nah, it doesn't compute -- the Giants are running a sample-size run right now, because their offense is still poor but their pitching has been spectacular. We'll all obviously enjoy the run for as long as it lasts (especially when beating the Dodgers is any part of it), but expecting it to last...well, you'd be giving your money right back to the casino.

The offense (or, more aptly, Bonds) still needs significant help if this team expects to stay in contention, because the pitching staff cannot keep this up. Sooner or later they'll drop just a bit...let's say, at least to the 4.2 runs allowed/game mark, at which point scoring 3.63 runs a game will see the Giants lose quite a few games. Well, being honest, we have to swing things the other way a bit, and assume the Giants will score more than 3.63 runs/game eventually...oh, wait, they're doing that right now, at that scintillating 4.3 runs/game clip.

Is that where you'd want your team to be at? Trying to win every day with an offense that scores it at 4.3/game with a pitching staff that allows 4.2/game? That sounds a lot like asking for a .500 record to me, and I think we can all agree that despite my thoughts that the NL West still isn't any good, the team that wins the division will have better than a .500 record. So, again, the offense still needs significant help.

But for now, for my predictions of Doom and Gloom being so poorly timed, I shall sit down and have myself a nice helping of Crow. Shaken, not stirred.

...

The only thing I'm hoping to get out of this year at this point, with the Giants running a 2.2 runs/game average, is that the Giants find a new general manager. Brian Sabean has been so exposed over the last couple of years -- he's basically rode Barry Bonds throughout his tenure here, and made two blindingly brilliant moves to acquire Jeff Kent and Jason Schmidt.

I'm just tired of seeing Sabean's teams -- he seems incapable of learning from his mistakes, and keeps making the same tired moves to fill roster spots -- over the hill veterans whose best years are behind them, yet who somehow command top dollar here because of "savvy" and "experience" and other things that just do not win baseball games day in and day out.

Talent wins, savvy helps.

I never thought I'd see the day where Royals baseball would be more palatable than Giants baseball, but that day has arrived. The Royals will lose a lot of games this year, too, but they'll be young and exciting while they do it. The Giants will lose a lot of games being old and tired, emulating the team-building methods of their GM.

Well, enough rant for today -- I'm going to keep tuning in because the Giants are an addiction for me, but it's going to feel a bit like poison until some changes are made. I'll hope for sooner rather than later.

Praise Be to the Law of Averages

Just acknowledging the win -- it's there, it happened, and we'll hope for more. We'll also hope that Armando Benitez finds his way onto another team...but a couple of side notes to the aforementioned 6-5 squeaker:

• The Royals won, too, with Alex Gordon, a.k.a Oh-My-Garsh-Please-Save-Our-Franchise v.2007 belting his first homer, and Zack Greinke, a.k.a Oh-My-Garsh-Please-Save-Our-Franchise v.2006 pitching the way he's capable of against a pretty potent Toronto Blue Jay lineup. Yay.
• And in Milwaukee, the attendance was 19,031. Unremarkable, you say? Perhaps, but if you knew that those fans weren't there to see the Brewers but an Indians-Angels game that was only announced 24 hours before the game was scheduled to play, you might change your tune. Let us collectively tip our hats to the people of Milwaukee, who apparently sat right down and got right behind Cleveland, rooting and doing slo-motion waves. Oh, and the Indians won, too.

So yesterday was special, and today...well, isn't yesterday. But Noah Lowry is starting today, and Russ Ortiz isn't, so letteth hopeth springeth eternal...eth.

Did I Say Rough? I Meant Painful...

I wonder how long it'll take the Giants this year to realize that what they've put together isn't going to work...and had no chance. Wagers, anyone?

The only team in the league that has scored less than the Giants is a team that's played four less games, and there's only one team with a worse run differential than the Giants.

The Giants are not only starting the season losing six of their first seven, but they're doing it within the division, so it's even more damaging than normal.

Bright side? Well, starting pitching. Barry Zito, while of course not worth anywhere near his salary, isn't going to continue to be this bad. Sooner or later Brian Sabean will realize that it wasn't Ramon Ortiz but RUSS Ortiz that he signed, and then he'll do the right thing and cut him loose (nevermind that Ramon Ortiz isn't any good either, but at least he wouldn't walk a hitter in batting practice, which Russ seems very capable of doing). Sabes will then make a sensible move, like going ahead and throwing that 5th starter spot to Kevin Correia or Brad Hennessey, neither of whom would be great but both of whom would be loads better than Runs Ortiz...er, Russ Ortiz.

But we've danced that dance before, haven't we? Sometimes Sabean could teach stubborn lessons to rocks...but even the rocks would have given the 5th starter job to one of those two already, and especially not in favor of a guy who had an ERA the size of Vermont and failed to even luck into a single win last year...

...ahem, nevermind. If I wanted to rant about Russ, I should've done it when the team acquired him. Crying, spilled milk, etc.

Dark Side? I'm trying to figure out a scenario in which the Giants don't hit the least amount of home runs in the National League by a large amount, and failing miserably. I'm going on record as saying I wouldn't be surprised if the Giants hit less than 141 home runs as a team this season, which would mean they'd be worse than the worst team in the NL last season, the Pittsburgh Pirates.

To supplement lack of power usually means you have to do it with team speed, but the Giants had the distinction last season of stealing the 2nd least amount of bases last year, only beating the Atlanta Braves -- who didn't need the stolen bases, as they hit the most home runs in the NL in 2006.

Here's to hoping Dave Roberts not only can duplicate his number of steals last year (49), but can also duplicate his number of unsuccessful steals (6) last season as well. The Giants will need every, single one.

The comparison to the '88 Baltimore Orioles start isn't apt, of course, as the Orioles went 21 games before winning one. The Giants have won a game already, and there's no way they'll end up at 1-21, right?

This is going to be...rough

This game will be, in the next hour or so, my first full Giants game watched so far in this young season.

I'm seeing about what I expected -- the Giants are a team which has to have a few things go right to win. They can't afford poor pitching performances, they can't afford missed opportunities to score, and they can't afford...well, any mistakes, period.

I truly believe this is the swan song not only for Barry Bonds, but for Brian Sabean. If you look at his acquisitions, trades, etc. over the years, he continuously fails to address team needs on any consistent basis. His moves this offseason were, to me, a collection of head scratchers -- from the acquisition of Ryan Klesko, three years removed from doing anything significant and, were he actually still a power bat, a superfluous left-handed one at that, to the re-acquisition of Russ Ortiz, who is the exact kind of pitcher the Giants don't need -- one that walks a lot of batters. Oh, and he's three years removed from being worth anything, too.

I'll go on record to say that the re-acquisition of Rich Aurilia is a big hit with me -- it's not really going to do much to help the team, but if I've got to see a stinker of a season, I'd rather see it with players I like.

So, it's now 9-1 Dodgers, and I get to watch the Dodgers washed-up players mop the floor with the Giants' washed-up players (Luis Gonzalez just went deep for the 2nd time...urk...just threw up in my mouth a little...but I'm okay).

Sometimes you just start out cold, but let's stop time for a sec a look at the NL West standings. They're here for your edification (and as I'm typing this, Pedro Feliz goes deep with a man on just to spite me), and it'll show you not only will the Giants have the worst record and be 3 1/2 games back after only 6 games, but look at the runs scored/runs allowed columns...every other team in the division is starting with a good run differential except for the Dodgers and Giants...and of course the Dodgers are wiping their tookus using the Giants as their Charmin right now.

In short, everything is going wrong at the moment...heck, even Aurilia's return is tainted to me, because he's back but C.C. Sabathia is still the spokesman for Toyota of Vallejo -- something that was one of Richie's long standing gigs during his first tour of duty (he even did the spots for them for a season after he was gone).

...and boy, while he's from my hometown and we even know a lot of the same people, C.C. can't act his way out of a wet, thin paper sack. Even if the sack already had a hole in it, and was kinda half-open at the top, and was kinda torn on one side, too...even then, no. He couldn't do it.

A sad beginning to things, all in all. A running theme for this team in the last few years is that they've won just enough games to avoid being put into the Reconstruction category, but losing a ton of games early might be the only thing that can wake the front office out of its stupor. Blowing this thing up might not be the worst thing in the long run.

Yeah. Um. It's Me...Really!

This is an "I'm not dead" post. The lack of time that I've had in the last bunch of months to write anything that would've meant something to somebody has been a bit disheartening, but I have made the mental committment to myself to get back to writing, and back on track...

...only problem is, I have so little real idea as to what's going on with the team that I'm going to have to take a bit of time to catch up. Oh, sure, I'm aware of the big headline news stories, players acquired, players let go, etc., but I haven't any clue what any of it means because I haven't even attempted to think about it.

Well, I'm gonna try that out here in the next week or so, then get to typing stuff.

So until that time, for the few of you that still may check in occasionally, thanks, and no...I'm not dead.

So, what now?

Jason Grimsley has been reported as linking many big league players, including such names as Miguel Tejada, Andy Pettitte, and...wait for it...Roger Clemens, in using performance-enhancing drugs.

So...what now? Is your world rocked yet? If so...why?

C'mon, did any of us really think that Barry Bonds was going to be the only guy to villify? It's unfortunate, because a player like Clemens has an escape clause much like Mark McGwire's -- retirement. If Clemens simply doesn't bother to try and pitch in the majors again, this will serve to dim any potential scrutiny, although I imagine it will still be intense.

But, just not as intense as it could be, or should be, just because he won't be playing anymore.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to see Clemens go through exactly the same things that Bonds has gone through, because I see Clemens in the same type of light that I see Bonds in -- an incredible athlete, in whom the greatness resides to be considered one of the best players of all-time, regardless of whatever types of drugs they took.

However, forgive me if I wonder at how this will be handled, as well as any other evidence that may come out to point the finger at the future Hall of Famer. While I'm sure the media will jump on any juicy bits of news and shoot it to the top of the broadcast, the public's reaction to any building of circumstantial evidence and testimony will be the thing to watch.

Many people who are dead-set against Bonds qualify their remarks by pointing out all the "tainted" records, saying Bonds is ruining the game's integrity, etc.

Hm. I'm thinking Clemens would "ruin" the game just as much, only he'd be doing it on the pitching side of things.

But still, it's all moot. Let's you and me both be realists -- there isn't any way this side of Heck that Clemens will be villified, scrutinized, and hated on as much as Bonds, because just about everyone likes Clemens. Think about it -- one of the only players I can think of off-hand that both Yankee fans and Red Sox fans adore, not to mention the entire state of Texas, and probably anyone above the age of 40. No matter what evidence, no matter if it's proven beyond doubt that Clemens took PED's, it will never reach Bonds' level.

We shall see how it turns out. I have had the attitude of ignoring much of the news carousel around Bonds over the past couple of years, but I readily admit I will not be doing the same with this story.

And....cut. That's a wrap.

As I said before, it was unlikely to begin with, but now it's strayed into the region of Well-Nigh Impossible. The Giants aren't going to see post-season play in 2006, and more's the shame, because the NL playoffs could've benefitted from the Giants special brand of mediocrity. Now they'll have to settle for the mediocre mediocrity of every other team that's going to make it, with the exception of the New York Mets, who have the gall to actually be good.

Onto other, more prevalent things...

I've decided that though it doesn't make a whole lot of economic sense, I want to see Ray Durham return on a two-year contract. Should the Giants re-sign him? More to the point, should the Giants sign him to a multi-year contract?

Probably not, and definitely not, but I still want to see Durham hit one more season, while realizing that Durham won't want to sign a one-year contract at this stage of his career -- especially with the numbers he'll have behind him coming out of this season. I don't see any team signing him for more than three years tops, regardless, but the two-year is a feasible thing, and may not even hurt too badly -- depending on the total payout, of course. I'm thinking his current salary level sounds about right (7 million per), but I can see him getting some team to pay him eight or nine million per, because there's always a team or two that will overpay.

But neither here nor there. It makes the most sense for the Giants to let Durham go, given that they've never really gotten full value out of him due to the games he's missed due to injury while with the Giants. It's a nasty coincidence that the best offensive year he's ever had comes in the final year of his contract, but that's the way the cookie crumbles...as he'll be 35 years old by the time next season rolls around, it's unreasonable to expect him to repeat this production.

Still want him back...on a one-year contract...but since that won't happen, a two-year contract. One more good season of 130 games played, very good offense for his position, and barely acceptable defense at 2nd base (I think Durham's double play savvy makes up a bit for his otherwise mediocre play defensively). Meanwhile, Kevin Frandsen backs him up, gets some significant playing time filling in for Durham whenever he's injured and playing a bit more around the infield and pinch-hitting, and hopefully is ready by 2008 to take over full-time --at which point the Giants trade Durham over the winter of 2007/2008.

Yep, got it all figured out, I do.

I also don't want to see Shea Hillenbrand back. The little home run tear he went on a bit ago was nice, but he's been here for 50 games now and still hasn't done squadoosh overall. I'm going to beat the Craig Wilson drum over the winter again, and hope that this time Brian Sabean dances to the rhythm. This is assuming that the Giants aren't going to spend big money at 1st base -- which they actually shouldn't be able to, because the free agent market for 1st baseman in 2007 is thin.

The only palatable free agents at the position over this winter, to my mind, are Wilson, Wilson, and Wilson. Every single other player is in their 30's, and many in their mid and upper 30's, and either declining, or no good to begin with. The only problem is that Wilson could be in high demand...but given that the Pirates took Shawn Chacon in exchange for him perhaps bodes well. Wilson isn't really good enough to get into a bidding war over -- I'm thinking something in the five million-per range would probably be both palatable for the Giants and a realistic price tag.

While I'm at it, I also wonder if Pedro Feliz will be brought back. I think it likely for five reasons: 1) although his offense still stinks for a 3rd baseman, he's basically the same offensive player the Giants have been smitten with these past couple of years, so there isn't really any reason the Giants will think differently of him now, 2) his glove and durability are both good, 3) the free-agent market for 3rd base looks just as bad as the 1st base market, 4) meaningless milestones like this year has seen Feliz hit career highs in both HR's and RBI, and he may top 100 RBI total for the year, and finally 5) the Giants really ain't got jack-shit behind Feliz in the minors.

He'll probably be back, and they'll probably sign him for another couple of years -- I'll throw up in my mouth a little, and attempt to fortify my psyche against another couple of years of watching Feliz flail away at the dish.

In any case, enough aimless rambling for now. I got some sleeping to do.

Gotta gloat and laugh...and, gloat and laugh a little more

After watching the 2nd half (and missing the 1st half, dammit) of the Michigan/Notre Dame game...excuse me, the Michigan obliteration of Notre Dame, I just had to put up a small post of satisfaction.

If anyone follows the Wolverines at all, you know what they're problem has been in many recent years has been -- early season losses, and specifically, early season losses to the Irish. It's always a test, because many of the teams that usually start the season ranked in/around the top 10 don't play anybody in the first couple games -- play so-so teams, blow them out, protect their ranking. Michigan always has that early season test, and they've failed it more often than not in recent years.

Not this year. Heh. 47-21 Michigan.

Gotta figure this will catapult Michigan deep into the top 10, depending of course what the other top 10 teams do today -- but none of the other top 10 teams will have as impressive a win as this, a blowout of the 2nd ranked team in the nation on their own home field. So...we'll see.

On another college football note, I'm also getting a good guffaw over the troubles of Miami, a program which I can't stand -- I think the Hurricanes are probably the most suspect program the nation has had in the last 20+ years. Now, I don't mean suspect in the sense that their teams haven't been good, I mean suspect in how their program has been run.

But my laughter is because of the annihilation they suffered at the hands of Louisville today, 31-7.

Not only was this the FIRST EVER time that Louisville has beaten Miami, but they were blown out after stupidly stomping on Louisville's insignia at midfield -- firing the Cardinal up, and also firing up their funeral pyre at the same time. The arrogance of that is ridiculous, and to see them get open-hand slapped after such an idiotic move is so satisfying it borders on the...okay, it isn't quite that good, but it's very nice.

Perhaps now Miami will shut up, and play football. Perhaps now the people who rank the division 1-A teams will realize that Miami just isn't any good, and stop giving them a ranking based on history rather than reality. The way Miami ended last season should have been a harbinger of this (their offense has been almost non-existent for a while against division 1-A opponents), and when I saw their pre-season ranking I almost retched.

Ah, whatever. Michigan blew out Notre Dame, and Miami got smacked around -- only thing missing would've been if Ohio State got upset, but you can't have everything.

Uh-oh

Looks like Luis Gonzalez and the Arizona Diamondbacks will part ways at the end of this season. Gonzo is an older, veteran player who still seems to have retained a portion of his former skills, thus the chances of him playing next season are pretty good.

Do you know where I'm going with this?

Don't do it, Brian Sabean. Just...just don't do it. It's an unlikely move at best, but still, I feel it's necessary to say it. Gonzo is simply a Sabes type of player through and through, and that scares me...of course, anytime any formerly-good 35-plus player hits free agency, it scares me. But Gonzo's won a World Championship and brings such an abudance of good clubhouse vibes, it's often seen falling out of his pockets as he walks down the street. His veteran savvy is so puissant that passerby often say things like, "You know, Gonzo has some really puissant veteran savvy". And that really speaks volumes, because people don't just walk around the street using words like "puissant" everyday, you know.

Or, something like that. Sometimes my metaphors fall a bit short. You get the idea -- just deal with it.

The move for Gonzo to make is the American League/DH move, because his throwing arm...that is, if we can actually call it a throwing arm...is a huge liability for any NL team. He'll also probably need a hitter's park, because playing half of his games in Arizona has helped his offensive stats to some degree over the years.

But, enough on that. The Giants have two more games with the St. Louis Cardinals, both of which they must win. With only 15 games left to go, the Giants will soon be in a position where they'll simply have to win out to stand a chance. They do have the three games with the Dodgers remaining at the end of the season, so it's also imperative that the Padres take their remaining two games vs. Los Angeles, because that will better the Giants chances overall (the Giants don't play the Padres again, so the "control their own fate" thing is out of the window with San Diego).

Well, I digress. it all starts with the Giants winning, anyway, and they'll have to at least do something like go 11-4 the rest of the way to stand a chance -- and that'd be a fairly slim chance, too. Everytime they lose from here on out, it's another nail or three in their coffin.

The instructions seemed so simple...

1. Find control panel on thigh, on the left side of left leg
2. Unscrew control panel door
3. Find "Care" button
4. Switch to "Off" position

I think I'd better call the Help Desk, because although I flicked that switch to the "Off" position a couple of weeks ago, it hasn't worked yet.

I still care.

Caring, however, is one thing. Hope is altogether something else. By now, I've found that I've completely exhausted my supply of that particular...

...hey, what's that? Laying on the floor over there...got some kind of inscription or lettering on it...I think it reads:

H...O...P...E

Wait, there's a bit more...

L...E...S...S

Alright, just kidding about that last part. The Giants previous too-many-teams-in-front-of-them-to-overcome syndrome has vanished, leaving them with one, single team in front of them, only a tantalizing two and one-half games in front. Just imagine if Armando Benitez had simply not blown one of those saves earlier in the season...well, while we're at it, let's imagine world peace, too, and short lines at the DMV.

Death in the Family

I hope that didn't sound too dramatic, but recently my truck died, causing my commute to lengthen by about an hour and for me to lose a bit of enthusiasm to write something on this blog after work...or even on my days off.

Looks like I should be picking up something this week, so my quality of life ought to improve enough from that to make writing something not be such a chore. I will acknowledge that the Giants got just hot enough that I suppose writing off the season isn't really possible, as they're only a couple games behind in the race for the wildcard...or, as I call it, the mildcard (none of the teams in the hunt for this spot are particularly impressive).

Oh, and if you value your sanity, don't buy Everquest. The nickname for that game is Evercrack, and that's not without reason.

One eye on next season

Eliezer Alfonzo. Nuff said.

(I really hate that expression, but it just seemed to fit.)

As the season wears on and he continues to run a SLG over .500 and a decent batting average, it's becoming harder to figure out what the Giants might do next season at the catcher position. Alfonzo isn't as good as Mike Matheny defensively, but when you can hit 40 points better and SLG about 150 points better, that doesn't matter as much. For all intent and purposes, I'd have to say that I can't believe that Matheny calls a better game than Alfonzo, either.

Unfortunately, the Giants are in one of those positions with Matheny where I don't see Aflonzo unseating him next season, assuming Matheny recovers from his problems stemming from the concussion he sustained. Admittedly, it'd be a bit cold to hand Matheny's job to Alfonzo after Matheny's missed all this time with as serious an injury as he has had. We've all heard many professional team sports athletes talk about losing a starting position while injured, and it's usually a semi-taboo thing to do.

Unless...

Well, unless the Giants believe Alfonzo is that much better than Matheny. It's good that Alfonzo's used the last couple of games to throw in some clutch hits, because the main thing he's going to have to build in the next month plus to solidify any claim he might have on the position next year is reputation.

Matheny's got it, he doesn't.

This also would be assuming Alfonzo can keep these numbers going through the end of the season. He's had over 200 plate appearances now, so it's becoming a bit harder to write it off as a streak, or him playing over his ability. He's still got plenty of offensive holes (like a veritable ton of strikeouts and hardly any walks) that have me worried, but again, as long as he can hit for a decent average and hit for power like he has been, it's worth those problems -- just keep batting him in the 8th position.

Okay, now I'm just confused

At the point last week when the Giants had lost 13 of 16 games and were playing the red-hot Dodgers, I put forth my theory on the ebb and flow of the Giants fortunes to my friend Lucky Luis as that series began. I told him that a sweep of the Dodgers was in the making -- not because of anything to do with the rivalry between the teams or because I thought the Giants were any better than the Dodgers, but because the Dodgers were red-hot and the Giants were ice-cold -- a reversal of fortunes was due each team.

Okay, I was wrong about that.

However, the Giants part of my ill-conceived theory is happening now. A sweep of the Padres and the taking of the first game vs. the Dodgers in this series has given them their second five-game winning streak of the year, the first of which was right before they proceeded to lose 13 of 16...meaning that if you combine all those streaks the Giants are 13-13 in their last 26.

The script now dictates that the Giants go ahead and sweep the Dodgers, more for confusion's sake than anything else. It would muddy up the division again, just when it looked like a clearer image was coming into focus. It looked like the Dodgers were putting themselves forth as the class of the division (right after it looked like they were putting themselves forth as the dregs of the division), and it looked like the Giants were putting themselves forth as the dregs of the division (right after it looked like they were putting themselves forth as the class of the division).

Confused? Yep. Ya oughta be, cuz I am, too.

What other division you've ever heard of has a team win five in a row to take the division lead, only to lose 13 of their next 16 and fall into last place, while the team that was in last place, losers of 13 of 14, turns around and wins 17 of 19 and takes the division lead?

How is it that the Giants have take seven of the last eight games vs. the Padres, yet the Padres are still two games ahead of them?

I'm wondering how the oddsmakers are figuring out any odds on any of these team in the NL West to win the pennant. Then again, I'm wondering why anyone would be silly enough to make a bet on which team is going to win this division.

UPDATE: Hm. I turn on the game, it's the 2nd inning, and it's 8-0 Dodgers with a man on 3rd and no outs. I'm guessing the theory is in a little danger of not becoming true. Shame 'bout that.