You. There. Follow this link: The View From 302.
It'll take you to Bud Hudgin's site, which is a part of John Perricone's group of writers at Only Baseball Matters. Yes, you've been to John's site before, but were too lazy to click on the links near the top of the page, and thus have missed Bud's part of the site. I am here to correct this error.
Listen to the sound of my...uh, fingers on the keys, and Obey. I could tell you that Bud speaks articulately and with a sharp wit, but as John has entrusted Bud with part of the site (and thus, a bit of John's reputation), that should already be understood. Plus, you're under my power and stuff, so you gotta like, do what I tell you to anyhow.
So. Go. Visit. Read. Think. Comment. Here. Now.
When I snap my fingers, you will feel refreshed. You will also feel a powerful craving for Spicy Nacho Cheese Doritos and sour cream, but that will pass -- only to be replaced by a more powerful craving for coffee Haagen-Dasz, which will not pass.
What, you still here instead of here?