Matt Cain is pitching tonight. At the time the game is to start, I should be in the middle of driving home from work. Instead, I'm going to be at home, because I'm going to leave work early, so I won't be in the middle of driving home from work at the time the game is to start.
That's what I'm gonna do. All attempts to stop me will be met with extreme prejudiced. Or, feigned nonchalance -- I get the two mixed up sometimes.
I will predict his line:
6.2 innings/9 hits/3 runs/4 bb/8 k's
It will take him...94 pitches to do it. There's still time to catch a flight to Vegas...hurry!